nothing to write about but i feel like i should

i sit here at steves in front on of my computer, watching baby blues. i didnt know this show was even on anymore. i remember watching it years ago, and thats about it.

i think so mnay thoughts in my head, that i just dont know what to think about anymore. i think about the disease, about school, my relationship with steve and family and friends. i think about work, and how long it will take me before i can go back to sleep. tomorrow it will be about how much my foot is going to hurt when i am working. its one thing i never thought someone would do, but hey, onyl i can manage to swing my foot back into the faucet in the shower just to end up with a bleeding gash in my heel, with very little pain until the next day at work.

one thign that has been crossing my head is the thought about my stupid depression. janie, my second mom pretty much, sent me a message on face book, saying how she thinks i define myself by my depression. i totally agree with her, and i just dontk now how to fix this problem with me. i started on cymbalta, and ive been on it for about three weeks now. its been helping me out so much, kind of. mood wise, i dont feel like ive changed much. but it seems as if my suicidal thoughts have diminished to pretty much nothing. very little have been occurring and that is only because it is mentioned to someone or something.

well, thats my rant for the day. i dunno what else to write.